sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
