And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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