he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
A bitchslap is in order.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
