walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
