Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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