Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
