I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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