So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
