out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
