Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
