This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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