hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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