What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
