good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize