so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize