Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
