Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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