i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
