So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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