I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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