we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
