One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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