I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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