No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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