i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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