My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
