Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
