At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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