They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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