Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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