biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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