Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
