he thought i was a dude.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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