And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
