Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
