is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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