I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize