in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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