im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
