It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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