My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize