you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
