Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
