She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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