I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
