You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
