what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
