haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
