i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
