I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
