I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
