I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
