Non-Jews are for practice
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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