Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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