too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize