Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
