Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
